Why Is This Happening to Me?

If you've ever caught yourself asking why something keeps happening to you, you're not alone. Most people who find their way to me are dealing with a pattern they can't seem to outrun. The same relationship dynamic in different bodies. The same wave of anxiety on the same kind of Sunday night. The same self-doubt right before something good is about to happen.

It feels random when you're inside it. It is not random.

The conscious mind only runs about 5% of the show. The other 95% is the subconscious, which is doing exactly what it learned to do when you were young. It learned what to expect, what to brace for and what to avoid. Then it spent the next twenty or thirty or fifty years quietly arranging your life so the expected thing keeps showing up.

This isn't your fault. It's the nervous system doing its job. The job is to keep you safe by predicting what's coming next based on what came before. The trouble is that the prediction is often based on a moment from a long time ago, and the system hasn't been told the moment is over.

So the pattern keeps showing up. Not as punishment. As a request for resolution.

When we get underneath the pattern in a Rapid Transformational Therapy session, what usually surfaces isn't the dramatic memory the conscious mind expected. It's something smaller and quieter. A look on a parent's face. A moment of being not chosen. A decision made by a six year old about what kind of person she had to be to be loved.

That decision is still running. Once you see it, you can release it. Once it's released, the pattern has nothing left to feed on.

If you're tired of asking why this keeps happening, the answer is usually closer than you think. It just lives in a part of you the conscious mind hasn't been able to reach on its own.